Dear Mr. President,

You have a big mess to clean up. Here at Nake-id Knits, we're really sorry you have such a crazy job, but we never voted for him.

Anyway, here's a list of a few things to keep you busy while you get your feet wet. We need:

1. A functioning economy grounded in ethics and respect for the law.

2. Peace in the Middle East. (This one's hard; whaddya say we give you a year?)

3. National healthcare.

Also, while you're at it:

4. Solve global warming. (And while you're at it, reduce our dependence on fossil fuels, starting with the U.S. Federal government, the largest consumer of energy in the world.)

5. Close Guantanamo and properly charge and/or release detainees.

6. Bolster states' ability to support public institutions of higher learning and vocational education.

7. Protect ANWR and other public lands from oil industry exploitation.

8. Help U.S. agriculture green up.

9. Offer bailouts to struggling yarn businesses.

10. Get Malia and Sasha a puppy and a kitten in the interest of inter-species equity.

Thanks. We'll do what we can on our end too.