In honor of Black Friday, Nake-id Knits presents: The Bad Santa Gift List for Knitters.

1. For the knitter who has everthing—A hand-knitted tree complete with acrylic birdy.

2. For the lonely knitter—Dolly the Inflatable Sheep.

3. For the cat lovers among us—The Crazy Cat Lady Action Figure. Dressed in requisite bathrobe, she comes with gnarled hair and six extra puddies.

4. For you gnome knitters—A limited edition, numbered fine ceramic Dubyah gnome. (World Domination for Dummies accessory extra.) Put a bush in your yard!

5. For the sanguine knitter—A “F*ck Off I’m Knitting” dishwasher-safe coffee mug.

6. For the art lover—The not-so-ADA-approved Venus de Knitting sweatshirt. (Courtesy of The Panopticon.)

7. For the knitter-who-can-never-have-enough-Teddies—The Nasty Little Bear. Squeeze him and he farts, barfs, burps and dry heaves. Batteries are included. Looks even cuter in a hand-knit Aran pullie.

8. For the prankster-knitter—Fake Barf. Bring it to your next SNB and throw it on a prized FO. Better with sound effects.

9. For the knitter with low-self esteem—The “I knit shit” hoodie.

10. For the LYS worker—A “Stitch this, Bitch” BBQ apron.